When are we gonna get there? When are we gonna get there?

When dealing with an individual with a lack of patience such a child or pooch, it is wise to give said individuals mini milestones as diversions to keep the "when are we gonna get there" behavior at bay. On a 6 hour road trip with children, it may be the game of spotting out-of-state license plates. In the waiting room at the vet with a pup, it might be a rawhide chew.

It's taken me many years to admit it openly and without shame, but I am willing to admit it in writing right now... I suffer from a chronic state of diminished patience. Yes. I am patience-deficient. And like the aforementioned tots and canines, the most effective coping mechanism for me is having a mini milestone (or two... or three... or four...) to keep me from turning into a whining "when are we gonna get there" brat. It preserves my husband's sanity and prevents me from making a complete nuisance of myself.

At my last appointment, my doctor unknowingly threw out a perfect milestone for me to latch onto. While looking in my mouth he noted that I had two mercury amalgam fillings and said in an off-handed fashion something like, "Have you considered having those replaced?"

I was happy to reply that my dentist has been systematically switching them out over the last couple of years because of his concern about the health risks associated with mercury. I then added that those two fillings were the last ones left.

With a smile my doctor said, "Well, it looks like I'm preaching to the choir then. I strongly suggest you get those last two replaced, because we're still not sure what influence they have on endometriosis."

That's all he needed to say. I had a golden mini milestone to latch onto like a dog on a rawhide chew.

Appointments were made with our dentist, so I could have the fillings replaced. My husband decided to do the same. My focus over the month of November and the early part of December was simply to get those offending fillings out of my mouth. But just as quickly as the Novocaine from the procedure wore off, the placating effect of this milestone was gone once I had checked it off my to-do list.

Now I'm back to being like an obnoxious child in the backseat of the family sedan griping about how long it's taking to get to Disneyland. It doesn't help that my body feels like it's grinding to a halt progressively each week I have to wait. My ability to do normal everyday tasks like vacuuming has been diminished to a point I never thought I'd be at in my life again.

But I'm whining...

The logical solution is to give me another to-do milestone, right? I figured if we could get the surgery date set, that would help. In order to do that, the doctor's office needs to work up what the costs will be, which hospital should be used to be compatible with our insurance coverage, and how much we're going to be paying out-of-pocket. Even though we haven't received any of our paperwork in the mail, our new insurance provider was kind enough to give us our member numbers over the phone but informed us that our member numbers aren't connected to a specific health-care plan in their system yet. The paperwork still has to come from my husband's employer and that usually doesn't happen until the week between Christmas and New Year's. Consequently, the billing codes and dollar amounts my doctor's office needs aren't available until we are in the system fully.

Oh, and did I mention that my doctor's office is closed from December 23rd to January 3rd?

Yeah... Lovely...

"But it's still do-able," I think to myself, "We can still get my surgery scheduled in the first week to week and half of the new year. I can will my body to be okay until then. As long as I don't have to wait until the end of January or the first of February, I can do this."

Famous last words...

Then we found out my doctor's assistant surgeon (who must be present for my surgery to occur) is going to be unavailable the first weeks of January through the 23rd. The earliest date I could have surgery is January 24th.

When we were informed of this little tidbit, my first thought was,"Well, he'll probably be vacationing in some tropical locale like Tahiti during those weeks". (Yes, my impatience can make me somewhat snarky.) Maybe my own secret desire to be lounging in a chaise surf-side somewhere during those weeks has a lot to do with that conclusion on my part.

Believe me. If we didn't have large medical bills staring us in the face, I'd figure out a way to be on a tropical island myself until January 23rd! If I have to feel lousy and can't clean my house, I might as well be looking at the rolling Hawaiian surf instead of the dust bunnies that are breeding faster than I can count.

Seems like sound logic to me! Too bad my bank account (and my husband) wouldn't agree.