My experience discovering and finding success using Vitamin E for better liver health

At the beginning of the summer (about 3 months ago), I was beginning to feel the effects of my liver being enlarged again. It wasn't as bad as when I ended up in the ER the end of June 2012, but I could feel it was trying to head in that direction. After the thorough ER ultrasound in 2012 uncovered that my liver was enlarged, I put two and two together and realized that my liver had been overtaxed from decades of chronic stress from the endometriosis. My doctor and I had already determined that the ripple effect of the endometriosis had caused damage to how each gland in my endocrine system talks to one another and my body. This most likely caused my fibromyalgia. So it made perfect sense that my liver had also been a victim. My enlarged liver was an indication that I had non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD).

What is NAFLD? 
One of the main functions of the liver is to metabolize fats in the food you eat. When there is a build up of extra fat in liver cells that is not caused by the consumption of alcohol, you end up with NAFLD. It's normal for the liver to contain fat cells. The liver is the second largest organ in the body weighing about 3 pounds, is shaped like a football and resides under the rib cage on the right side of your body. It is normal for 5-10% percent of the liver's total weight to be fat cells. But more than that and your liver is no longer in the healthy range anymore.

What causes NAFLD?
According to WebMD.com, although the cause of the disease is unclear, there are several factors that can cause the liver to fall victim to NAFLD (I've underlined the ones that probably led to mine):

• Medications
• Viral hepatitis
• Autoimmune or inherited liver disease
• Rapid weight loss
• Malnutrition
• Gastric bypass surgery (rapid weight loss combined with diet)
• Hepatitis C
• An overload of iron
• Diet 
• Recent studies show an overgrowth of bacteria in the small intestine and other changes in the intestine may be associated with NAFLD

NAFLD doesn't have to be permanent
The good news is that the liver is one of the most resilient organs in the body. It can regenerate itself as long as there is healthy tissue to regenerate. Even though my enlarged liver was definite evidence that I had non-alcoholic fatty liver disease (NAFLD), I could reverse it as long as the situation didn't persist long enough for the liver to begin to form scar tissue. Once scar tissue replaces the damaged tissue throughout an enlarged liver, the cirrhosis stage has begun and the liver can't regenerate from scar issue. Cirrhosis can't be reversed. But NAFLD can. So my goal since June 2012 has been to heal my liver.

Following my gut (pardon the pun)
With the onset of symptoms that my liver was unhappy again after a year of babying it, I felt the urge to do some online research about possible vitamin, mineral or nutritional supplements that could help me in trying to increase the health of my liver and get it back on track to healing.

As I often do, I turned to Google first and typed in "vitamins to help non alcoholic fatty liver disease".

The third hit on the Google search results led me to ClinicalTrials.gov (a service of the U.S. National Institutes of Health) and a current study being performed by the National Institutes of Health Clinical Center entitled "Treatment for Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver With Different Doses of Vitamin E". The study started in February 2013 and appeared to still be actively recruiting. I wasn't all that excited about being a participant in a clinical study, but I continued to read the outline of the study and found that it documented exactly what each control group would be taking.

I decided to follow my gut instinct. Instead of officially participating in the study, I would put myself on the same dose of Vitamin E as the control group with the highest dose of 800 IU/daily. I determined that if I had an adverse reaction, then I would scale back to the next highest dose of 400 IU/daily. And if necessary scale back to the lowest dose of 200 IU/daily.

My results
I found Vitamin E soft gel caps (pictured above) that were 400 IU each. I started taking two a day for a total of 800 IU a day. I started taking them every morning with the rest of my vitamins and meds.

It only took a couple of weeks for me to notice changes. The swelling in the region of my liver began to reduce about that time. The pressure on my stomach began to reduce and the burping on an empty stomach (the tell-tale sign my liver was overstepping its boundaries into my stomach's territory) began to subside.

As the weeks passed, my discomfort was less and less. I knew I had seen success when it dawned on me that I hadn't thought about my liver in a while, because it wasn't causing me discomfort.  Around the month and half mark, I noticed my energy levels coming back. I noticed I had more stamina. I also noticed that my fibromyalgia flare-ups were happening less frequently. I continued to manage my stress with conscious lifestyle choices to see if the trend continued and it did.

Of course, I continued to be extra vigilant about what I ate (as I had been since my ER visit in June 2012). I knew that for me appropriate nutritional choices were a key component to the overall equation. I knew just because I was taking the Vitamin E didn't mean I could go back to eating trigger foods like ice cream, soft cheeses and fried foods. And I still had to continue to eat my healthy foods: walnuts, brazil nuts, pistachios, organic whole wheat pastas and breads, dark leafy greens, foods prepared in a Mediterranean style with olive oil, tomato sauces instead of cream sauces, organic fruits and veggies, and eating lean meats sparingly. And a small helping of frozen yogurt every day.

The major factor I continually work at every day is to actually eat. I must give my body sustenance regularly. I can't forget meals like I am prone to do. I have to nourish my body despite my brain's propensity toward thinking "the less I eat, the better". If I don't, than I am malnourished. And my liver will suffer.

To this date, I am still taking 800 IU of Vitamin E every day. I don't anticipate that I will ever stop, given the positive results I've experienced. My liver is happy. The rest of my body is getting happier because my liver can do its job again. And I have Vitamin E to thank for it.

One of the most important videos I've ever watched

I highly recommend that everyone watch this frank video of Robyn O'Brien giving a talk at TEDxAustin 2011 about the ramifications of the little known but staggering changes made to the U.S.'s food supply in the mid-1990's that are having a direct effect on all our health and wellness.

The video is only 18 minutes long, but it could be the most important 18 minutes you spend on yourself.

It was for me. Also, thanks to this video, I now know the real reason why we have epidemic numbers of Type 2 diabetes, obesity, food allergies and gluten intolerance in the U.S. and it isn't fast food or sugary drinks.

"Cute attacks" are good for me, go figure!

This is Dexter and a normal sized cat bed called a "sherpa".
The bed isn't too small for other cats.... so you do the math.

I have found a lot of helpful and sound advice for living from Dr. Christiane Northrup, OB/GYN (you may have seen her on PBS). Ever since I heard her talk about a way to create positive chemical and hormonal reactions inside one's body to encourage health, I've tried to keep that as a priority. She said that the easiest way for a woman to achieve this is to think of something that makes her inner nurturing core glow.

Sounds too "new age"? Keep reading because it's sound medical advice backed by science.

Making your inner nurturing core glow is basically when you get warm fuzzies and are all fluttery inside because something has touched that nurturing place unique to women's brains. Dr. Northrup gave examples of what it means to make your inner nurturing core glow. For some it is the thought of a newborn baby. For others it is the thought of baby birds or puppies. For some (like me) it is the thought of baby kittens. It's the "ahhhhh" response that gets all those good "juices" firing off inside our brains. And those good "juices" create health and wellness.

Nurturing and emotional bonding (as well as other important things) are processed in a specific part of our brains--the limbic. And the limbic is larger in women than in men (explains why we are such good nurturers).

So, according to Dr. Northrup, the antidote for all the stress responses that I am barraged with daily is to find things that give me the warm fuzzies (or "cute attacks" as Hubby and I call them).

Now, I have to ask... what prompts you to have a "cute attack"?

Juicy Plums for Independence Day

A bountiful harvest has begun here at Rosehaven Cottage thanks to one Santa Rosa plum tree that is laden with so much fruit some of its boughs are bending and touching the ground. This is really exciting for me because this is the first year that the tree has actually produced more than 1 or 2 plums. I LOVE plums (Hubby doesn't like them) so I am thrilled!

Some of you may remember that I wrote about this plight earlier in the year when the tree was blossoming as I shared some photos of the lovely spring plum blossoms. Now the majority of those blossoms have become luscious plums that are ripening at varying rates all over the tree.

Because sitting under the plum tree is one of my favorite daily activities, I have been watching and gently hand-checking the fruit each time I'm out there. Early in the ripening stages when a plum that's been within my reach has been ripe enough, I've plucked it from the tree and eaten it right there. Yummy!

Well, now that the number of plums that are ripe has increased, I was able to take my harvest basket out and pick the first bunch of plums all at once. That was a real treat!

The plums came inside and went into this nifty rinsing basket that Hubby has in the kitchen (the kitchen is Hubby's domain, by the way). After a good rinse in some cool water, the plums were covered with droplets and were very photogenic (as you can see in the photos above).

Of course I've eaten the perfectly ripe ones as a wonderful sweet treat as part of my breakfast, lunch, or dinner. As the others ripen, I'm going to try my hand at making homemade fruit leather with our home dehydrator. I'll make sure and photographically document the process when I do so I can share.

Now why, you may ask, am I featuring these fresh fruits on America's Independence Day?

Well, today is also my own Independence Day. It was two years ago today that I made the life-changing decision to eat, eat well, and gain my independence from the burdens of a chronic illness as well as OCD-related anxiety and depression. Along with adopting the WeightWatchers lifestyle, I consciously chose to no longer consume any hydrogenated oils and products (trans fats) while increasing my consumption of Omega-3 fatty acids in the form of walnuts and other nuts. I also chose to eat instead of continuing the pattern of "forgetting" to eat all day--a pattern that was taking me down a very unhealthy road and had caused my metabolism to grind to a halt. July 4, 2006 was a very big milestone day for me, to say the least.

As I've traveled this interesting health-focused journey for the past 2 years, I've come to love simple and luscious foods like these plums that I'm harvesting off our tree. Grown organically (as all the other produce in our garden), these plums are more than a summer treat for me. Instead, I see each one as a small package of health and wellness ready for me to consume and gain its benefits--the most profound benefit being independence.

Happy Independence Day!

Links to my writing on the Rosehaven Cottage Health, Wellness, and Food blog:
A Delicious Way to Get My Veggies
"Cute Attacks" and Feeling Healthy
Managing Anxiety and Depression with Nutrition

Links to spiritually-based resources at Provident Living:
Helpful Information on Social and Emotional Strength
Physical Health

Click here to follow me on Twitter

Good Nuts versus Bad N.U.T.S.

It turns out that nuts are not just for squirrels. I've been reading the book YOU: The Owner's Manual by Michael F. Roizen, M.D. and Mehmet C. Oz, M.D. and found some interesting facts about how nuts can be very good for one's state of mind and well-being, while N.U.T.'s can be detrimental to one's state of well-being and emotional equilibrium.

Good Nuts
It turns out that eating just 12 walnuts a day (or just 1 ounce of any other nut of choice) can not only help to raise your HDL cholesterol (that's the good kind) and help your arteries be clearer, but the same 12 walnuts a day can also boost your mood by providing your body with omega-3 fatty acids which can raise seratonin in your brain thus helping to reduce depression.

If you're not a fan of walnuts, then 24 almonds will also do the trick. Don't overdo it or the calories will become a problem. Just stick with the magic number of 12 (or 24).

Drs. Oz and Roizen say that by making that one simple change in one's daily diet a woman can make her RealAge™ 4.4 years younger while a man can make his 3.3 years younger.

Bad N.U.T.'s
While judicially consuming nuts everyday can make you healthier, Drs. Oz and Roizen say that there are some N.U.T.S. that you need to get rid of--Nagging Unfinished Tasks. N.U.T.'s are those annoying things that hang around in the back of your mind (the book cites the example of "the nagging stress of sitting on a wobbly toilet seat and never fixing it"). These N.U.T.'s are stressors that can be quite detrimental, even moreso than the stress of a flat tire or other little "emergencies" that arise in our day--Important But Manageable events or I.B.M.'s.

Even though your N.U.T.'s may not seem like a big deal to anyone else, if they're bugging you incessantly they can have a negative impact on your health and wellness. Repeated stress elevates the levels of the hormone cortisol in your body and that leads to stuff that isn't great for you in the long-run.

Making Chip and Dale Proud
Remember the old Disney cartoons with Chip and Dale and their tree full of nuts precariously packed in just ready to come pouring out if one little thing shifts? The information from Drs. Oz and Roizen brought that image into my mind when I thought of my own N.U.T.'s. I got to thinking... which N.U.T.'s do I "stockpile" in my life? Over the past couple of days, I've taken a really cold hard look at how many N.U.T.'s I've got crammed into every nook and cranny of my life and, therefore, my brain. My brain is just like Chip and Dale's tree! One little shift and all those N.U.T.'s come crashing down! Just like it wasn't good for Donald Duck, it isn't good for me either.

So instead of stockpiling N.U.T.'s, I've decided to focus on "piling up" my 12 little walnuts a day. I've started a little therapeutic daily ritual of taking my 12 walnuts out into the back garden so I can sit on my chaise lounge in a patch of sun while I crack them open. As I crack open each walnut I do so in a kind of meditative way thinking about the good it will do my body and my brain. Then I meditate and try to remove the bad N.U.T.'s from my life (most of which are there because I put them there) or at least re-prioritize them so they don't clutter up my mind. Gradually, I think I can finally tackle the bad N.U.T.'s as I take in the good nuts.

The Gift of Wellness for Christmas!

I'm so excited that I can hardly stand it! Hubby surprised me by playing Santa this Christmas and presented me and himself each with a certificate for New Balance hiking boots! YAY!!!!!

So the day after Christmas (Boxing Day) we went out and purchased our new boots. We have happy feet right now! I can't say enough good things these New Balance boots/shoes. The fit and comfort is amazing (no, I'm not getting paid for the endorsement).

Now, you may ask, "Why are you so excited about hiking shoes????"

To answer that question, I will quote the certificate I received:

"This certificate is good for 1 (one) pair of comfortable
hiking shoes to be purchased after Christmas. Why? To get in condition for our
hikes in 2008."

We're going to be doing a lot of outdoor walks and hikes over the next 7-8 months to train for a hike that we want to do at Lassen Volcanic National Park next summer. I'm so happy! You have NO idea! Not only will I get to go hiking with my camera in tow, but I will be accompanied by my best friend and the love of my life. It is a Christmas dream come true.

A Free Way to Track Nutrition Online That Isn't Just a Diet

For a year and a half now, I've been searching for an efficient and economical way to track nutrition (not just calories) in electronic form. Aside from building my own cumbersome and stand-alone spreadsheet in Excel, I wasn't finding anything to my liking. As a member of WeightWatchers for that year and a half, I utilized their proprietary tool but it only tracked WeightWatchers points and cost me a pretty penny. What to do? What to do?

The answer came in a humble little unobstrusive email from my MyPoints service that lets me earn points for clicking on buttons in emails they generate for advertisers. One such email came through for SparkPeople.com that touted it was a free service to help people track nutrition, go on a diet, and/or adopt a healthier lifestyle.

Free Calorie Counter at SparkPeople.com

It all sounded too good to be true. Boy, was I wrong!

SparkPeople is part of the new phenomenon of "Web 2.0" which includes websites that are free for the user and rely on other income (i.e., advertising) to pay the bills. The other aspect of SparkPeople that makes it "Web 2.0" is that it is interactive with its sophisticated tracking tools, grows as its users provide nutritional information to their amazingly comprehensive nutrition databse, and essentially offers an online community for health-conscious individuals. Technology is an amazing thing when visionary developers take it and create something as wonderful as SparkPeople.

SparkPeople lets me do all of the following (for FREE):

• track my nutrition (not just calories but EVERYTHING)
• track my daily water intake
• set nutritional goals for myself
• track my fitness activities
• set fitness goals for myself
• read valuable health related articles
• view valuable health related videos (I recently watched one about the common cold that was very helpful while I was battling one)
• join communities of individuals (called SparkTeams) that have similar interests and needs as I do
• get emails including recipes, health articles, tips, etc.

That's just scratching the surface! I highly recommend going over there and trying it out (I'm even providing a button below). And don't let the word "diet" deter you--it's so much more than that!

NOTE: Neither the writer of Rosehaven Cottage is receiving NO COMPENSATION for writing this or for any reader utilizing the link button provided.

A Delicious and Healthy Way to Get My Veggies

WeightWatchers: 10 points

I admit right here and now that I am not a vegetable lover. My husband is, and I envy him. I wish my palate liked the taste of steamed vegetables, but it doesn't--I gag or wretch or any of those other unpleasant things. I just can't enjoy them at all. So I (and my "personal chef" husband) have to get creative on how I get my vegetables into my daily diet for good nutrition.

I had a brainstorm last night that I consider real inspiration from above. Here's the basic idea... I love pasta. I love marinara meat sauces. I also love vegetables in marinara meat sauces. So my idea was for him to chop up zucchini, mushrooms, and onions to be incorporated into a meat sauce that would be put over whole wheat pasta. I figured that I would get my complex carbs, my protein, AND my veggies all in one delicious shot.

I presented the idea to my husband and he concurred that it sounded like a great idea. So this evening after my husband made his weekly trip to the market, we embarked on the adventure of seeing if my idea was as great as it sounded. It was!

We are big fans of Trader Joe's (I apologize profusely to any readers that are not fortunate enough to have one in your area). Their foods are free of hydrogenated fats, tend to be organic, and are usually low in calories and fat (some are great for fiber). So my husband procurred the Trader Joe's marinara sauce to be used as the base for the sauce with canned tomato sauce to be added later to reduce the richness of the marinara. He also procurred nice fresh veggies from Trader Joe's. The whole wheat pasta came from Trader Joe's as well. The only ingredient that didn't was the 91% extra lean ground beef from Sam's Club.



After dicing up all the vegetables, my husband sauted them in about a tablespoon of olive oil (good stuff) and then added 4 oz. of extra lean ground beef. The ground beef and vegetables sauted together infuses the meat with the juices and flavors of the veggies (particularly the yummy onions). He then added the jar of marinara sauce and a can of tomato sauce and reduced the heat to let everything simmer and get super-yummy.

The pasta went on to boil at that point. When the pasta was nice and aldente, he drained it and divided the portions on the plates. The sauce was done simmering by that time so he ladelled the sauce over the top pasta on the serving plates and Voile! Although the portions were quite generous the total WeightWatchers points for the whole plate were only 10 points!

What did it taste like, you ask? The whole wheat pasta has a wonderful hearty and nutty flavor that I don't get when I eat just regular pasta. I love pasta aldente and the whole wheat pasta gave it a wonderful feel in my mouth. The sauce was rich but not too dark in flavor. It had a brightness that only fresh veggies can give a sauce without the pieces of veggies being slimy or surprising my mouth with punches of veggie flavors that I don't like. The flavors all married so beautifully. The ground beef was fresh and flavorful after having been sauted with the vegetables. It was a very filling meal that hit the spot and keep my tummy full for hours.

And the best part? There's leftover sauce for lunches this next week! All I have to do is boil the pasta!

A Harvest of Love

There is very little else that can give me as much satisfaction as picking a basket of tomatoes straight out of the garden and bringing it inside to surprise my husband like I did today.

He's the tomato lover in the family and can eat them and eat them and eat them. He's the chef in the family so he makes wonderful culinary creations with them. He's also the allergy-sufferer in the family so he isn't able to be outside in our garden nearly as much as he'd like. It also means that he isn't aware of how many tomatoes are actually growing out there--hence the ability for me to surprise him with a brimming basket left on the kitchen counter in his prep area. It's always fun to hear him from the other room, "Oh Honey! Look at these tomatoes!" I know that he'll usually be making up one of his tomato salads with homemade vinaigrette later that evening

This whole ritual of growing tomatoes for my husband started the first spring we lived at Rosehaven Cottage.

We were immersed in remodeling and restoration--drowning in it actually. Our goal was to simply have access to all the square footage in our home, have a decent bathroom and kitchen, and not freeze from the drafts coming in from the spaces in the subfloor.

Early spring rolled around, and I had this overwhelming need to put in a vegetable garden. I was told by many that I was nuts and should just focus on the interior of the house. "Let the garden go this spring," they'd say helpfully, "Don't try to do everything at once."

But the persistent nagging to put in a garden kept coming into my psyche. I know not to ignor these persistent nagging thoughts. So I moved the installation of a vegetable garden up on the priority list (much to the disbelief of family and friends) and put in the first vegetable plants (including tomatoes) as soon as it was safe.

Summer came quickly and the tomatoes were thriving. I had put in Sweet 100's and the vines were burgeoning with the little round red gems of tomato sweetness.
At the same time that the tomatoes were ripening, my husband was struggling with health issues that led him to the doctor's office. On a hunch, the intuitive physician tested my husband's blood sugar right there in the office. It was through the roof. My husband walked out of the doctor's office that day with the diagnosis of being a Type 2 diabetic weighing on him. It would change his life. It explained a great deal of the health struggles he had experienced over the previous 2 years but wasn't any easier to take.

His mother is also a Type 2 diabetic and, fortunately, he had educated himself when she was diagnosed. He knew his diet would have to change drastically. His sweet tooth would have to be satisfied in some other way than the chocolate he was so fond of. But there is one thing that my husband loves more than chocolate--tomatoes!


It was now so clear why I had felt so driven to plant the vegetable garden. That first crop of Sweet 100's was a ray of hope during a very difficult life transition for him. The sweet little "candies" that he could pop in his mouth without guilt or hesitation made the depressing prospect of having diabetes so much easier to cope with. I knew that I had grown them for a very special reason, and it was no fluke that I had known to plant them.

So every year since that first year at Rosehaven Cottage, the tomatoe plants always go in the garden as soon as it's safe. My husband anxiously awaits the first tomato that is ripe enough to harvest. He's very much like a child waiting for Christmas morning. It's wonderful to watch. And every time I harvest another basketful and leave them on the kitchen counter for him, I feel a deep sense of love for him, for the garden, and for the blessing that tomatoes represent to us.

My story... in a very large nutshell

I don't care... I'm going to talk about it

I know there's a lot of people that don't like to talk about "women's issues". It makes them squirm as they frantically search for an opportunity to change the subject. That's probably the reason why I'd never heard of endometriosis before I was diagnosed in 2005. That's why so many women suffer from this disease in silence and/or ignorance. Well, guess what... I don't care. I'm going to talk about it!

What is endometriosis?
Click here to find out

A not-so-brief history of my life once I became "a woman"

I started menstruating at 14 1/2 years old and almost immediately suffered severe cramps. But since the other women in my family did too, I was told it was "normal".

As I aged into my 20's, my cycles got shorter and my flow got heavier. The pain was excruciating (often at a 9 or 10 on a scale of 1 to 10). I learned large doses of ibuprofen would dull the pain enough that I could rock myself into a fitful sleep and just sleep the pain away. Needless to say, I did a lot of sleeping every month.

By my late 20's, I was beginning to have odd pain in my right shin bone that would radiate through my leg. I went to see my general practitioner about that. Lots of tests were run, but no conclusive diagnosis could be reached. On the advice of my GP, I went to see an OB/GYN who diagnosed me with severe PMS and put me on birth control pills.

I got married in my early 30's. We immediately started trying to get pregnant so I went off the birth control pills. Year after year went by with no success. In the meantime, I was having increasing pressure in my lower abdomen and pelvic region in addition to the intense pain with my periods. There were days I couldn't stand up straight.

During the rest of the month, I felt like my uterus was blowing up like a slowly inflating balloon. My former OB/GYN had left her practice, so I went to another one who told me I couldn't possibly be feeling the sensations I was describing. She inferred that I was imagining things and wanted to put me on birth control again. Not helpful. That was the first and last time I saw her.

I persevered on knowing I wasn't imagining things but was at a loss for answers.

In 2003 (just before our 5th wedding anniversary) we got our fondest wish--a positive pregnancy test. All the blood tests and doctor's appointments were scheduled. I was excited because I was going to finally get the OB/GYN who had a stellar reputation in our community--such a reputation, in fact, that she only took patients with a positive pregnancy test.

My first blood tests showed my progesterone levels as extremely low so I was immediately prescribed progesterone cream to prevent losing the pregnancy and was classified as a "high risk pregnancy".

When it came time for the first ultrasound (something we had envisioned as being a wonderful bonding experience with us getting to see the heartbeat for the first time), my doctor was out of the office so it had to be performed by one of her colleagues. He noted that my uterus had a weird shadow on it, and he couldn't find a heartbeat this early. He mumbled that I must have miscalculated how far along I was. *sigh*

A second ultrasound with my own doctor went even worse than the first with her using insensitive language right off the bat. Just a note to anyone who cares, phrases like, "Well, this may not be a viable pregnancy..." aren't very good bedside manners when dealing with a high-risk pregnancy and a couple that has only been able to get pregnant once in 5 years.

I made an appointment with another doctor for a second opinion.

Before even seeing me, the second doctor ordered another ultrasound (this one performed by an ultrasound tech at an imaging facility). I wasn't going to get the results until I met with my doctor at our first visit. The day before my scheduled appointment at 13 weeks along, I started showing signs that I was having a miscarriage. A phone call to the doctor's office resulted in the advice, "Since she has an appointment tomorrow, just have her keep that appointment and we'll see her then." I miscarried at home--painfully and traumatically. The next day I went to my appointment. No one had noted on my file that we'd called to say I was miscarrying. So in the midst of hormonal chaos I had to explain repeatedly that I'd lost the pregnancy the day before to every disinterested member of the office staff.

The doctor saw me. She said I was fine. She didn't like the progesterone cream I'd been put on because it was a brand from Europe and a name she didn't know. She thought that may have contributed to the loss of the pregnancy. She ended our appointment with, "You can start trying again in 6 weeks."

I never had another positive pregnancy test again.

I don't care... I'm going to talk about diarrhea too

In the spring of 2005, I began to have digestive problems (that's code for "diarrhea"). The issues got progressively worse. I went to my OB/GYN with my concerns, because my Grammy (maternal grandmother) died from ovarian cancer. I wasn't going to mess around anymore. This was too serious to be dismissed again. I forced the issue by telling her that my symptoms were too much like my Grammy's were prior to her ovarian cancer diagnosis. My doctor ordered a full ultrasound.

The first ultrasound revealed that I had an ovarian cyst. Finally! Something someone else could see that didn't belong there! Hallelujah! I wasn't crazy!

My doc put me on a month of hormone therapy (birth control pills) to see if the cyst would shrink. After a month, another ultrasound was ordered. The second ultrasound revealed that the cyst hadn't shrunk... it had grown! It was now the size of a racquetball. The ultrasound also found a second odd-shaped oblong cyst (cysts are usually round). That one was the size of a Snickers bar and completely baffled my doctor.


The Halloween that changed my life

By October (a month after my 39th birthday), it became clear that I would have to have surgery to have the cysts removed. Laparoscopic out-patient surgery was scheduled for the morning of Halloween 2005. I was going to spend Halloween "under the knife"--kind of ghoulishly appropriate, I thought.

Three days before my surgery, I met with my doc for my last pre-op appointment. I asked her how likely it would be that the cysts would came back. She said it was highly likely. Out of the blue I asked, "Wouldn't it be best to remove my ovaries completely because of the history of ovarian cancer in my family?" She was stunned, took a second to regroup, and then advised me that if I chose that route, I should have a full hysterectomy so I wouldn't be at risk for uterine cancer (apparently, risk increases when the progesterone levels drop after ovary removal). I felt strongly that a full hysterectomy was the right way to go. She was still a bit stunned (so was my husband who was also at the appointment). My doc made some phone calls and scheduled the operating room necessary for the more involved surgical procedure. Instead of an out-patient surgery, I would be in the hospital for 5 days. But the surgery was still planned for Halloween.

Interestingly, when the surgery happened only a couple of days later it was very fortuitous that the operating room had been set up for a full hysterectomy. Here's why...

Once inside me, my doctor discovered that my reproductive organs were encased in adhesions (scar tissue). She immediately suspected endometriosis. Since endometriosis cannot be detected via ultrasound this was quite the "surprise". My uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries had become one mass encased in gnarled scar tissue. And the whole mass had adhered to the outside of my colon (hence, my digestive problems I'd been having). Scar tissue also encased my ureters (the small tubes leading from the kidneys to the bladder). The ovarian cysts that were detected via ultrasound were also due to endometriosis. My doc determined that I had at least 20+ years worth of damage from the disease that had gone undiagnosed all these years despite my pleas to at least 3 other doctors that I felt something was wrong.

Needless to say, surgery went twice as long it should have in order for my doc to remove as much as possible in the limited time she had. Blood transfusions in my blood type were unavailable so she had to do as much work as she could before I was in danger of bleeding out. She spent most of her time carefully removing the mass that was adhered to my colon without jeopardizing my colon. Although she had planned on a total hysterectomy (removal of uterus, ovaries, fallopian tubes and cervix), she chose to leave my cervix because the surrounding scar tissue was so bad she didn't want to run the risk of cutting my ureters.

I came out of surgery anemic and pale from loss of blood. My husband tried not to react when he saw me in post-op. He mentioned I was very pale. In my groggy state I said, "I decided to dress up as a ghost for Halloween." That's me... always trying to find something funny in every situation.

When I was told about what my doctor found and that biopsies had been sent to the lab to confirm it was endometriosis, my silent response was, "What's endometriosis?" In the days I spent in the hospital, my husband and I looked up everything we could find on the internet about endometriosis.

My surgical recovery went very well. In fact, I felt better 5 days after the surgery than I had felt just a week prior to surgery--that's how bad I felt before surgery.

After about 6 weeks of post-op recovery, I felt like I'd stepped into a whole new life that was finally free from the mysterious pain that had plagued me since I was 15 years old. I started to call my surgery my "Halloween Hysterectomy" and it became the milestone that I measured where my old life ended and my new life began.

My doctor told me I couldn't take any hormone replacement therapy (HRT) because if there were any rogue endometriosis cells left in my abdomen, they would continue to feed off any estrogen in my body and go through the monthly cycle that the tissue of the uterine lining does. The internal bleeding and subsequent scarring would come back along with the pain. They'd wreak havoc on my body again. She also strongly advised me to lose weight with the reasoning that because body fat produces estrogen it could also increase my risk of recurrence.

Over the next 6-8 months as my body healed from the surgery, I realized that I never wanted to go back to that place that I had been in for 20+ years--"Endometriosis Hell".

Because of my doctor's advice, I mistakenly thought I was the sole deciding factor as to whether or not my endometriosis would come back. I didn't understand that I had a disease that has no real remedy except removing all the endometriosis (something my doctor hadn't been able to do). I also didn't know that regardless of whether I had ovaries or body fat pushing any hormones through my veins, the insidious endometriosis implants (what the rogue cells are called) have their own "life support systems" that they can feed off of to grow and wreak havoc.

I found WeightWatchers and embarked on a journey of educating myself about nutrition and how to eat for wellness. Initially, I lost 45 pounds and kept it off until the end of 2007. Then slowly, my body started to revolt against my efforts. Despite the significant lifestyle changes I had made, my health started to deteriorate again. In spring 2010 (almost 5 years since my surgery), my digestive issues were back. I felt the same sensation of feeling like a slowly inflating balloon was in my lower abdomen. My reprieve hadn't seemed to last very long.

Except one thing was very different this time around... I knew what I was fighting, and I knew the enemy. It has a name. I could face all of it head on as long as I knew. That is where my story began again...

Follow the story of my second surgery chronologically by going to the links above in the sidebar at right -->